I was fired THREE TIMES for being gay!

This anonymous posting comes to us following our request for stories about discrimination in housing and the workplace. If you have been fired, passed over for a promotion, or denied employment… or if you have been denied housing or evicted because someone thought/found out you were gay… please send us your story at info@gaynepa.com.

In 1999, I was issued a company service award on a Thursday and fired on the spot on a Monday morning without reason. I later found out that my ex-husband made a phone call to my fundamentalist Christian supervisor indicating that I was a lesbian and leaving him for a woman. That organization falsified documentation to support my termination. I became embattled in a he said she said with unemployment and although I could verify my status and claims, they took the word of the employer as valid (not unlike experiences you have when trying to dispute issues on your credit report).

Several years later, I went through a period of harassment, bullying, intimidation and psychological torture at another local mental health agency where my supervisor encouraged me to apply for medical benefits to cover my partner, stressing “we don’t discriminate.” In my naivity, I applied. At the same time, I became aware that this same supervisor lead a double life: heterosexual marriage with a lesbian lover on the side. We would go to conferences with our partners, etc. The lead supervisor became “jealous” at the relationship as she was also “questioning” her orientation aside from being a raging alcoholic. I had to tell each of them that I wanted to keep work and home/private matters separate as each tried to interfere with my relationship. The bullying and harassment ensued from both ends. I couldn’t tell which nonsense was coming from which individual to defend my work, paperwork, requests for time off earned with comp, requests for vacation time, etc.

Additionally, I was passed over for a promotion by both supervisors. The position was awarded to an individual whom I trained. At that point, this individual was made to be my direct supervisor and it was apparent that he answered to both of them. The micromanaging conversations would be “so and so said you can’t take comp time…” or “so and so said you have to have me sign off on your treatment plans…” I took another position and gave my notice. On the morning after I gave my notice, I was confronted with a dilemma of the immediate supervisor being not available to sign off on my plans. One of the other supervisors indicated that I was to sign off with his name and initial with my initials. I did that in fear of being reprimanded for not having my paperwork signed off. On the Monday morning, I was presented with the documents and a denial of the directive from the supervisor and fired on the spot.

I contacted the place of new employment and scheduled to begin two weeks earlier than planned. I was working there for approximately three weeks when I was ushered out of my office by the principal agents and fired on the spot without explanation. It came to my attention that one of these supervisors called this agency and outed me, creating a condition called “cautious interference with contract.”

I initiated a suit attempting to clear my name and wanted an apology. I negotiated with HR and got neither. This became all consuming as I worked on my Doctorate Degree. After approximately three to four months of struggling with this issue, I started sending out resumes and was hired by another agency. I openly discussed what had happened to me and received validation, support and was able to learn to work this issue through. Subsequently, the issue of privacy and orientation came up in this agency as well with questions by colleagues “are you married?” “Do you have kids?” etc. Triggering my fears to keep my life private and to hide behind pronouns and to avoid being set up on blind dates. At one point there was an article written about me in a local paper supporting a creative endeavor I was involved in and the principal of the agency approached me after the paper was put on his desk indicating “I would hate to have to fire you for this.” We discussed this issue. It was never brought up again. I left that agency of my own volition with the need to grow professionally. However, this placement helped me to rebuild my confidence, belief in myself and heal from the post traumatic stress resulting from the workplace bullying, hateful and outright discrimination and use of my orientation against me when it suited someone in power.

Anonymous
Dallas, Pa

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